Ego has no room in any loving relationship, as ego is the cause of all conflict. It is a wall preventing entrance to the truth. There is no real connection or communication when ego or pride takes precedence. Relationships are all about compromise and understanding whereas pride is an assertive stance which does not back down. The only relationship where ego wins is a destructive one. There is no peace when ego enters the room. People think that they win if in the end when they look like “the best” If their ego has not been touched. In fact we become slaves of our ego as soon as we follow it. When we start feeding our pride it just gets bigger and stronger.


The river surrenders itself in order to be part of the ocean…Wood burns itself in order to give us heat

Everything in this universe is offering themselves up to others. The trees offer us their fruits, the sun gives us its sunlight, the moon and the stars brighten the nights and even sheep’s, goats, fishes, and chickens are giving up their lives for us.


All we need to do is give back love to others, even if it’s just a smile which can makes a big difference in someone else’s life. It’s all about offering our selves selflessly, truly, and whole-heartedly. Things in life will change dramatically. When we follow our pride we become selfish and isolated. Slowly, slowly we go further from our loved ones and we don’t even realize until we loose everything we care most about.

So what should we do to keep the flame alive?

That’s a million dollars question… Relationships stand on respect, compromise and communication these are the 3 key factors in every successful relationship. There is a saying that “even a mother doesn’t feed milk to her child until he/she cries” Which essentially means that we have to express and communicate our emotional desires.


Don’t ignore the little issues, they are like seeds and once they grow they will become a tree. Don’t let your pride be a wall between you and your loved ones. A friend of mine was having some trouble with his girlfriend; he was telling me “I’m not going to call her because she is going to think that I’m weak”. Yet he was suffering at the same time. When I spoke to his girlfriend she had expressed the exact same sentiments yet she too decided not to communicate her feelings. What is stopping them from communicating their actual feelings? Is this a game? Does one really need to win and lose? That is a good example of having your pride and ego get in the way of your relationship. From a distance everything may seem to appear, as it’s a non-issue, however it’s best to remember that a seed has to be buried in the ground in order to get a strong tree. In other words, we have to drop down our unseen walls of our pride.


Intelligent people realize that there is no gain in pride; it is isolating and old fashioned. It is the proud who lose. Those who don’t mind the risk of falling and potentially looking foolish know that they have made an attempt on life and therefore have tried change and progress. Life is too short for pride and ego to get in the way. Nations and people get caught up on their external image, rather than what they want or need. Those are the people who intellectualize rather than feel. In today’s world most emphasis is on thoughts and results, rather than feeling and experiences. Another example of one’s ego or pride being detrimental to a foundation is: A close friend of mine recently went through an unfortunate divorce with the love of his life, he was telling me that “in the end all you have is your pride”. It sounds very catchy but it is not truth in all cases. Sometimes we need to look at the long run before we get lost in the moment.

Sometimes we have to open the knot with our teeth, the one we tied with our own hands. We forget that pride is the first thing that goes when we are suffering.


In the end you have your heart, it is the last organ that stops working. It beats till the very end it’s the drums of your life. In the end all you have is love; pride goes, hate goes, everything man made leaves and the truth is revealed. We deteriorate from the outside and the beauty from within shines more than ever. The end comes with the gift of acceptance. Pride is man made and destructive; we have no use for it. Pride is for warriors not for lovers. In the end we have our heart, our love and we have our spirit.


© 2015 thefallingthoughts All Rights Reserved


  1. Nice article! It’s so true, and I’m guilty sometimes of this. To love is a conscious decision so that pride and ego will not get in the way of it.

    Liked by 2 people

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  3. Because of pride my husband and I were separated for 4 yrs of our marriage. It took a serious illness and 4 years of self analysis but we are back together for 1.5 yrs now. His pride was keeping him from letting me in and mine was refusing to see that he was struggling.

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  4. It is so true what you wrote. My last relationship ended because of this issue. Its really unfortunate because it was something that we could have worked out but he had too much pride.

    thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great post and I have to say very enlightened for a man. Apologies for that remark but sadly it is still true. I would like to say though that you mention that intelligent people know better than to live their lives directed by pride. I tend to disagree. Intelligent people can be just as much if not more cut off from their feelings as anyone else. Just my thoughts. 🙂

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  7. This is beautifully articulated. I do know a number of people who have forsaken their relationship because of pride. A couple in particular – all the way to the grave! It was a shame! By the way, I love the quotes as I collect and I particularly like the one on ‘it’s about our hearts and who they beat for.’ A pity the author is missing out on getting credit for it. I also like John Ruskin’s quote. Thank you for a great post.

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  8. Thank you for visiting my blog. I enjoyed reading your poetry and especially liked this piece on pride. I have shared it with my friends on Facebook. Very nicely put!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wonderful post! There is a Japanese expression that I particularly like…”omaiayarti” (spelling isn’t correct) which means “putting others before self’. Letting go of ego. One of the four main initiations is ‘service to others’ which by the way the Earth signs (Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo) are working in this lifetime.

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  10. You have gracefully painted a work of art colored with words of wisdom….
    I enjoyed reading your thoughts, Thank you for sharing them

    Take Care…You Matter…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Brilliant. I agree about ego, pride, and one-upmanship getting in the way of real intimacy – everyone is afraid of being vulnerable. Yet this is exactly where we must be to reach the next level. Thank-you for this!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Excellent post! Love grows and thrives off of COMPLETE trust and honesty as well. No single minded person ever made a good partner for sure!
    Talk about everything no matter how simple, little foxes destroy the vine!

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  13. Very good article! Self centered people aren’t good partners for sure! Keep communication channels open even about the small things! The little foxes destroy the vine! Love will thrive in an environment built on COMPLETE trust and honesty with an extra dose of selflessness. GARANTEED!!
    Agreed 100%.

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  14. I understand pride in the sense you are using it here. Perhaps a sense of superiority that causes a delusional infallibility. I try to do the best I can in all endeavors. Especially art work or wood work. If not well done or if I am not satisfied I do it all over again. Such is not an obsession with perfection but a matter of putting my best craftsmanship into the project. I can be proud of myself in a sense knowing I did my best. But that is not the same kind of pride of which you are speaking in this post. Thanks visit my blog.

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  15. This is really a great piece
    There is so much here it’s hard to take in all at once
    You have touch on just about every string that could possibly be pulled
    Just wanted to see what you are up to
    It looks like I’ll be back
    As always Sheldon

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I really enjoyed your post about pride and its depth. I loved the following words in particolar: The river surrenders itself in order to be part of the ocean…Wood burns itself in order to give us heat. Thanks and very best regards

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Thanks for following my blog! This was a great piece, and I think if married couples can get past this, the marriage will survive. We are now over 40 years – but of course I was a child bride!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I think it depends on which definition of pride you are using:

    a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired. “the team was bursting with pride after recording a sensational victory”

    synonyms: pleasure, joy, delight, gratification, fulfillment, satisfaction, a sense of achievement
    “take pride in a good job well done”

    •a person or thing that is the object or source of a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction.
    “the swimming pool is the pride of the community”

    synonyms: source of satisfaction, pride and joy, treasured possession, joy, delight
    “the rose-covered trellis was the pride of the gardener”

    the best state or condition of something; the prime. “in the pride of youth”

    synonyms: best, finest, top, cream, pick, choice, prize, glory, jewel in the crown
    “the bull is the pride of the herd”

    a group of lions forming a social unit.

    verb: pride; 3rd person present: prides; past tense: prided; past participle: prided; gerund or present participle: priding

    be especially proud of a particular quality or skill. “she’d always prided herself on her ability to deal with a crisis”

    synonyms: be proud of, be proud of oneself for, take pride in, take satisfaction in, congratulate oneself on, pat oneself on the back for “Lucas prides himself on his knowledge of wine”

    Pride is certainly a feeling that many children need but lack, because parents ignore or put down their achievements.

    Liked by 1 person

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