Ego has no room in any loving relationship, as ego is the cause of all conflict. It is a wall preventing entrance to the truth. There is no real connection or communication when ego or pride takes precedence. Relationships are all about compromise and understanding whereas pride is an assertive stance which does not back down. The only relationship where ego wins is a destructive one. There is no peace when ego enters the room. People think that they win if in the end when they look like “the best” If their ego has not been touched. In fact we become slaves of our ego as soon as we follow it. When we start feeding our pride it just gets bigger and stronger.
“LOVE IS STRONGER THAN PRIDE” – Marquis De Sade
The river surrenders itself in order to be part of the ocean…Wood burns itself in order to give us heat
Everything in this universe is offering themselves up to others. The trees offer us their fruits, the sun gives us its sunlight, the moon and the stars brighten the nights and even sheep’s, goats, fishes, and chickens are giving up their lives for us.
All we need to do is give back love to others, even if it’s just a smile which can makes a big difference in someone else’s life. It’s all about offering our selves selflessly, truly, and whole-heartedly. Things in life will change dramatically. When we follow our pride we become selfish and isolated. Slowly, slowly we go further from our loved ones and we don’t even realize until we loose everything we care most about.
So what should we do to keep the flame alive?
That’s a million dollars question… Relationships stand on respect, compromise and communication these are the 3 key factors in every successful relationship. There is a saying that “even a mother doesn’t feed milk to her child until he/she cries” Which essentially means that we have to express and communicate our emotional desires.
“MOST RELATIONSHIPS FAIL BECAUSE COUPLES FIGHT WITH PRIDE MORE THAN THEY WORK WITH LOVE” – Anonymous
Don’t ignore the little issues, they are like seeds and once they grow they will become a tree. Don’t let your pride be a wall between you and your loved ones. A friend of mine was having some trouble with his girlfriend; he was telling me “I’m not going to call her because she is going to think that I’m weak”. Yet he was suffering at the same time. When I spoke to his girlfriend she had expressed the exact same sentiments yet she too decided not to communicate her feelings. What is stopping them from communicating their actual feelings? Is this a game? Does one really need to win and lose? That is a good example of having your pride and ego get in the way of your relationship. From a distance everything may seem to appear, as it’s a non-issue, however it’s best to remember that a seed has to be buried in the ground in order to get a strong tree. In other words, we have to drop down our unseen walls of our pride.
Intelligent people realize that there is no gain in pride; it is isolating and old fashioned. It is the proud who lose. Those who don’t mind the risk of falling and potentially looking foolish know that they have made an attempt on life and therefore have tried change and progress. Life is too short for pride and ego to get in the way. Nations and people get caught up on their external image, rather than what they want or need. Those are the people who intellectualize rather than feel. In today’s world most emphasis is on thoughts and results, rather than feeling and experiences. Another example of one’s ego or pride being detrimental to a foundation is: A close friend of mine recently went through an unfortunate divorce with the love of his life, he was telling me that “in the end all you have is your pride”. It sounds very catchy but it is not truth in all cases. Sometimes we need to look at the long run before we get lost in the moment.
I learnt many lessons after watching my uncle die. He lived his entire life as a very proud man, even till the end on his dying bed. The saddest part was that he always let his pride get in the way of his happiness, which left him all alone with nothing but regrets. He even managed to push his own flesh and blood far away. Sometimes we have to open the knot with our teeth, the one we tied with our own hands. We forget that pride is the first thing that goes when we are suffering.
“THE OLDER YOU GET, THE MORE YOU REALIZE THAT IT ISN’T ABOUT THE MATERIAL THINGS OR PRIDE OR EGO. IT’S ABOUT OUR HEARTS & WHO THEY BEAT FOR …” – Anonymous
In the end you have your heart, it is the last organ that stops working. It beats till the very end it’s the drums of your life. In the end all you have is love; pride goes, hate goes, everything man made leaves and the truth is revealed. We deteriorate from the outside and the beauty from within shines more than ever. The end comes with the gift of acceptance. Pride is man made and destructive; we have no use for it. Pride is for warriors not for lovers. In the end we have our heart, our love and we have our spirit.
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